Conglomeration

I haven't posted in a while.  Whenever this happens, it makes it hard to know what to write the first time I'm back.  So many things have happened.  What do I chose to write about?  So, I've decided to take a different approach.  Instead of writing a post to try to say all the things I've been wanting to say, I'll just use words I've already used.  So here it is, the very first collection of excerpts from my journal to ever go public.

7 March 2012

"I learned a new word in life group last night.  Peripety. It means a sudden change in the course of events.  It often comes at a time when you least expect it.  For example, in the book of Esther, you expect the course of events to change as soon as Esther points her finger at Haman and in effect says, "That man is trying to kill me!"  You would think that this would be the moment that went from everything going wrong to everything going right.  But no, it happens before that banquet.  It happens in the middle of the night when the king has trouble sleeping and asks what should be done for Mordecai.  That is the moment that the bad guy begins to meet his demise.

I found it interesting that we learned that word at this moment in my life.  I believe that I have had a moment of peripety recently.  It is too early yet to know if it will change the course of my life or simply the course of my summer, but it has already brought change.

It was one young girl, one afternoon at Scheels, trying on swimsuits.  She struck a nerve in my heart and I felt compassion for her.  So, I wrote her a letter.  And I posted it to my blog.  Hearing her tears seemed so very uneventful at the time, but because of it, many people have been encouraged by it.  Several youth pastors, friends of mine, have shared it with their kids.  My dad shared it with his church.  And most recently, I have been asked to speak at camp because of it.  And maybe it will end there.  But maybe it won't because God likes to work like that.  He likes to take those small moments that at, as long as they are happening, seem insignificant to us and he likes to turn them into something big.

Maybe, just maybe, he is taking all those car rides and afternoons on a bridge in the sun and using them to set my feet upon a path.  Maybe my course is set and I just have to walk through doors."


23 April 2012, Mexico.   The first day on the work-site when next to nothing seemed to go right.

"...but as always proves to be true, God is faithful.  Moving the dirt took time, but it got moved. The lack of electricity meant that the boards were all measured by the time we got a saw, so when we got the generator going, we had an epic assembly line going...And though it was a close call, the cement truck did squeeze itself in and the laying of the foundation went well.

In my experience, big obstacles mean big things are going to happen, and after today, this thought is only reconfirmed.  Without the trials, there would have been no victories, only tasks accomplished.  Even with our setbacks, we finished everything that should have been done today...three hours later than usual, but its done.  If tomorrow goes well, it will be a blessing to us all.  If it goes like today, God will get us through.

God, my prayer for myself for this trip is that you might give me courage, that you might remind me once again why my heart is stuck here, that you might open my eyes to something I've never seen before.  My prayer for the group is that you absolutely bring us together.  Show each of us what you would have us see.  Open our eyes to your lessons.  Make our hearts receptive to them.  And for our family, Lord.  Give them peace and  remind them again and again of your love each time they step foot into that house."


1May 2012

"What do you do when you leave part of your heart behind?  How do you go back to the mundane when you just touched extraordinary?

I live in two places at once

My body is here.

My heart and soul are covered in dust and wielding a hammer.  My thoughts are with the Mexican people and my mind on the injustice of everything."





And that doesn't take you up very recently in my life at all.  I recognize that.  But, all my more recent journal entries are full of things that are still too dear to my heart to share, or problems that are yet to be solved, or secrets that are not mine to tell.  Also, some of them just aren't very good and I just don't want you thinking less of me.  So you'll have to settle for this for now.