I went to Disney world this past week. I won a trip through my work and had the opportunity to take my family. We had a great time, took pictures with characters, rode some rides and ate food. Boy did we eat food. The first place inside an actual Disney park that we ate at was this Mexican taco stand. I was slightly doubtful because nothing, and I mean nothing, can beat a good old traditional made and ate in Mexico Mexican taco. Try it. It can't be done. So I didn't have my hopes up. And despite the fact that it wasn't exactly the same, it was pretty darn close. And completely delicious. And it got me thinking about Mexico. Not that it really takes much, truth be told.
Everyone has their thing. That thing that makes them smile, or cry, or simply just feel. Mexico is that for me. The thought that I get to go back in April makes me smile and deeply happy. The statistics about the living conditions in Juarez make me so sad. And when people unknowingly (or knowingly) reveal their racism when talking about the country or its people, it makes me seethe in anger, usually quietly because I am passionate enough about the subject that I know my arguments won't sound completely rational.
I've written this blog several times, trying to put into words why I feel the way I do about Mexico, about the work I get to do down there, about God's plan with his people there, and the injustice that is being done there every single day, but I can't. No words can truly explain why this place means so much to me. I've tried and they all fall short. So I leave it with just the thought that I was in Disney World, enjoying free everything and my mind was completely wrapped up in the taco in my hand and all the thoughts that went with it.
I hesitated to include this part because this isn't about money. But, as I said, I am going again, and I know some of you love to send others to go, and I won't deprive you of that opportunity. So if you'd like to help you can send a check with my name in the memo to The Ransom Church 700 N Main, Sioux Falls, SD 57104.
But more than that, pray. Pray for our trip, that God's will will be done. It is a dangerous location and we will be driving 24 hours overnight so prayers for safety are appreciated as well. But more than that, pray for the family that we will be helping. Pray that if they do not know God that this new house will help point them to him. And pray that if they do know him that they will feel his love more and more every time they step into the house that he built through us. Pray for Mexico too. It seems like such a daunting task to tackle all of the problems there but I believe in a God who works miracles and he can do mighty things. Pray for the innocent people caught up in the crossfire of the gang wars, and the innocent people struggling to feed their family. Pray that help will come, but pray harder that comfort will be their constant companion until help arrives. The Mexican people are our neighbors, our family. Never forget that. Pray also for those who are exploiting their countrymen. Pray their hearts will be changed and that they turn from their evil ways and turn to God. Pray that if they chose to reject God and his forgiveness that justice will prevail and that evil will be defeated. Pray for the courageous policemen who put themselves on the line to fight the bad guys. Pray and never stop.
Wednesday, February 29, 2012
Monday, February 13, 2012
Again
Once again, I am faced with the task of dealing with coping with the death of a peer. Again the weapon was a pair of skis. Tina was killed Saturday as she learned to ski. My thoughts are not quite to the place where I can truly write cohesively about this but I am struck with one thing: how very different it feels from last time.
With Benji, I felt as though my life was suddenly placed on a tilt-a-whirl. I felt as though everything that I knew was upended and suddenly destroyed. The way I thought about life and God did not fit in with what had happened. Though I never would have admitted it before that moment, I quickly realized that I had been treating God as a genie, who simply existed to answer my prayers. I believed that if my prayers were not answered it was because I somehow failed to word them right or failed to have enough passion in my heart or faith. To find the magic words, if you will. But I prayed every possible combination of words for Benji. I prayed more passionately for him than I ever had prayed up until that point in my life. And I truly, almost naively, believed that healing would come. But it didn't. And the realization that God was not who I thought he was nearly destroyed my faith. In the words of C.S. Lewis, I learned that he was "not a tame lion." Slowly, ever so slowly, I came to believe that this was a good thing and that God's plan for my life and humanity was way more complex and truly good than anything I could ever come up with. We began to speak again.
Tina has only been gone for two days but my reaction is already so different. I already believe in a God who has things under control no matter what happens. While I am sad that I never got to know such a wonderful young lady better and my heart absolutely breaks for everyone whose pain is overwhelming today, I have more peace in my heart now than I did for months five years ago. I think about her in heaven and how lucky she is to experience that. A strange emotion has even surfaced that I never expected; jealousy. All her questions are answered. Every little thing that wasn't really an issue but bothered her anyways has disappeared. She gets to see the Lord face to face. I am struck by how much more heaven minded I am. I believed Benji was with the Lord, but I found little comfort in it at the time. Today I find so much comfort in that fact, for both Benji and Tina.
It is true that I was not as close to Tina as I was Benji but I think the reasons for my different reactions go deeper than that. There has been a real change in my soul. I still mourn, but I mourn with hope. I look at the friends I have with gratefulness and not with fear that they too would be taken from me and I thank God for the change.
But still, if you ski, please wear a helmet.
With Benji, I felt as though my life was suddenly placed on a tilt-a-whirl. I felt as though everything that I knew was upended and suddenly destroyed. The way I thought about life and God did not fit in with what had happened. Though I never would have admitted it before that moment, I quickly realized that I had been treating God as a genie, who simply existed to answer my prayers. I believed that if my prayers were not answered it was because I somehow failed to word them right or failed to have enough passion in my heart or faith. To find the magic words, if you will. But I prayed every possible combination of words for Benji. I prayed more passionately for him than I ever had prayed up until that point in my life. And I truly, almost naively, believed that healing would come. But it didn't. And the realization that God was not who I thought he was nearly destroyed my faith. In the words of C.S. Lewis, I learned that he was "not a tame lion." Slowly, ever so slowly, I came to believe that this was a good thing and that God's plan for my life and humanity was way more complex and truly good than anything I could ever come up with. We began to speak again.
Tina has only been gone for two days but my reaction is already so different. I already believe in a God who has things under control no matter what happens. While I am sad that I never got to know such a wonderful young lady better and my heart absolutely breaks for everyone whose pain is overwhelming today, I have more peace in my heart now than I did for months five years ago. I think about her in heaven and how lucky she is to experience that. A strange emotion has even surfaced that I never expected; jealousy. All her questions are answered. Every little thing that wasn't really an issue but bothered her anyways has disappeared. She gets to see the Lord face to face. I am struck by how much more heaven minded I am. I believed Benji was with the Lord, but I found little comfort in it at the time. Today I find so much comfort in that fact, for both Benji and Tina.
It is true that I was not as close to Tina as I was Benji but I think the reasons for my different reactions go deeper than that. There has been a real change in my soul. I still mourn, but I mourn with hope. I look at the friends I have with gratefulness and not with fear that they too would be taken from me and I thank God for the change.
But still, if you ski, please wear a helmet.
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