Action vs. Inaction.

Action vs. Inaction.  That's a question that I struggle with a lot.  Most of the time in my life I don't come to a fork in the road and have to choose between one direction or another, most of the time I have the choice to stay on this current path or turn off.  Does that make sense?  Sometimes I've hit that first option, where things cannot stay the same and you have a pair or list of choices to make.  Graduating college was one of those.  I could not continue doing what I was doing.  I had to leave.  Continuing down that road was not an option.  Even if I had chosen to continue my education right then and there, things would have looked very different.

But usually I find that this is not the case.  An opportunity comes up in life, or I have the chance to create an opportunity for myself and I have to decide; continue doing what I am doing?  Or chose this other thing?  Usually, the easy route is to do nothing.  A missions trip opportunity comes up?  Probably totally worth it to go, but definitely easier to stay.  Potential new job?  Still easier to stay, even if you hate it.  Less effort, less learning curve.

Now, those two examples are probably bad because the way that I colored them.  I made it seem like the action was more beneficial than the inaction.  In those examples any excuses you come up with to remain inactive are just that, excuses.  But right now I am struggling with some decisions that are not so cut and dry.  Not to me, not to anyone whose advice I've sought on this.  Can't you people just tell me what to do?  For example, I am trying to decide whether to talk to a friend about something.  If I say something, I can never take those words back and words get me in trouble.  A lot.  In fact I've already had to apologize once today for something I've said and I've only talked to two people so far.  So do I keep my mouth shut and continue going crazy or say something and make the whole thing blow up in my face?  In different situations, I've done both, and neither actually went well.

Or what about when following your dreams looks so good and wonderful and you have a million images of motivational posters of people on top of Mt.Everest cycling through your head but then when you sit down and do the math, it turns out that the dream may just be next to impossible.  Is it really worth it in the end?  Is it even possible?

I make, or fail to make, a lot of decisions in my life based on fear.  Which of these options is less scary? Which is more prudent?  It causes a lot of people to call me wise.  Little did they know that if you always act on your fears and blow it off as nonchalance, it appears to be wisdom.  Its not too hard to fake.  And its not always a horrible way to live life.  I am alive with never a broken bone because I've never actually acted on my dream to jump off our third floor balcony into the bank of snow below.  But it can be a boring way to live life.  And not always the best.  And I'm tired of making decisions based on fear.  So incredibly fed up with it.  But I still want to be wise.  How do I do that?  Is it wise to take a very scary leap and really, really hope that God catches me?  Or is it more wise to be shrewd?  Shrewd with my money, with my words, with my actions?  I know the answer cannot be found in the information I've given, or possibly even in the information I have but these are the things I wrestle with.

The thing that is so difficult about inaction vs. action decisions is that you can usually put off the decision for a long time.  You can unintentionally make a decision by refusing to make a decision and not even notice that you're doing it. One of my dilemmas does not need an answer for several months yet.  If I choose to act, I cannot act for some time so perhaps I should just delay the question until it needs an answer.  I am certain, however, that the other has a timeline, that there is perfect timing and imperfect timing with this one.  I just don't know what it is.

So if you're the praying type and you happen to pray for me at all, pray that I have the wisdom to know what to do and the courage to act on it.