Train Bridge

I believe that often, people become who they are expected to become.  The slightly sarcastic guy in the group becomes the always sarcastic guy because even when he tries to be serious, someone around him can't handle that and so they make a joke of his comment.  The blonde girl acts naive and dumb because she heard a few too many blonde jokes as a kid and now thinks that this is what is expected of her.  The smart kid in class sacrifices any semblance of a social life because he is always being told what a smart kid he is and he is terrified to learn who he might be without an A.  Its one reason it drives me crazy when people have such a narrow view of people that they seem to be surprised whenever anyone swerves outside their lines.  We put limits on each other so much.  And while it can be good, parents believing that their child can achieve their dreams, for example, it can also be bad, such as when a parent forces their own dreams upon their child against their will.

From here on out, there will be two anomalies to this post.  First of all is the fact that normally, when talking about this subject I would be talking about the negative parts of this concept and how we should be careful to encourage people to be more instead of putting them in a box. Secondly, the rest of this post is for one person and one person only.  I, of course, am making it public so anyone can read it, but my hope is that he will see it and read it and know I'm talking to him and that everything is okay.

So, to my friend,

I'm afraid we miscommunicated once again.  You saw that I was upset and I think you thought you were to blame.  I'm here to tell you that you weren't.  I was upset because I saw that I hurt you and that killed me. You compared yourself to someone else, someone who had hurt me and I hated that comparison so much, because it is so much not true.  I don't think I conveyed to you how much.  Its just that it usually takes some time for me to be able to put these things to words.  Even now I am realizing that this whole thing sounded so much more eloquent in my head.

I began this whole post with the concept of becoming who people believe we are because I find myself believing that I may just be the person you told me I was all along.  You treat me with such honor, such respect.  Every action towards me, every word tells me who I am. In your actions, you reflect the way that Christ sees me.  When I look in the mirror I see someone with worth.  I see someone beautiful.  I see someone with dreams that I am actually fulfilling.  I see someone funny, joy filled, who loves every moment of life.  Someone who can even look at the painful things with hope that they will be redeemed.  I have you, in part, to thank for that.

And now it is I who is on my knees every night, begging the God who heals that any pain I caused would be wiped away.